Somewhere Between Now and Then

After a Long, Long Break

2008-09-26T20:14:00.005-07:00

I know. It's been an incredibly long time. I think that my primary reason for writing is not laziness, not business. It's just pure flat out denial. Somehow, blogging to me has taken on a formidable tone -- I have avoided it purely because I have too many thoughts. Writing them down, sharing them with the world, would force the chaos of my mind into actual words...something that overwhelms me and thrills me. I guess I've fallen more into the overwhelmed category.

I take a deep sigh and realize that words are therapy. And I need some, that's for sure. I am making no promises, but I deeply desire to allow a sense of peace come into my mind-space, bringing cathartic words.

For now, just beginning again was a start.

Sacred is Secular OR Sacred vs. Secular?

2008-02-27T19:48:00.005-08:00

I saw this picture and experienced both laughter and horror at the message that it holds. I thought I would share it with you. Does this reflect the glory of the gospel in the face of overwhelming darkness? Or does it represent a separation of the sacred from the secular by placing Jesus on Sunday and the pain of living during the week?

What are your thoughts?

Thanks to Gina for wealth of wonderfully provocative pictures.

Can't Focus

2008-01-22T10:22:00.001-08:00

Over the last several weeks, Beth and I have been reading more and more about the tragedy of human trafficking. The more I read, the harder it is for me to focus on other things, and the more I wonder about the millions of people caught in modern day slavery. There are men, women AND children bought and sold every day. I can't stop thinking about it...I don't have much time now to write, but I anticipate mining books, the internet and local organizations for more information, links and ways to enter in to the darkness and bring Light.

Access versus Imminence

2007-04-09T11:39:00.000-07:00

CIA operatives go undercover to gain "access" to their enemy's secrets. Employees are given IDs or keycards that give them "access" to that inevitable door that says "Employees Only." Janitors have "access" to buildings after hours, and parents put special passwords on their computers these days to prevent their kids from gaining "access" to the raunchy stuff on the internet.

This past Sunday at church, in talking about the purpose and power of the resurrection (yes, it was Easter!), the preacher mentioned the word "access" several times. Having spent the past several months in the Gospel of John, we found ourselves in the final chapters reading about the death and miraculous events surrounding the resurrection. While we spent most of our time talking about breakfast (actually a great topic for Easter Sunday...see John 21:1-14, especially vs. 12), it was mentioned several times that the purpose of Jesus' death on the cross, and the ultimate purpose of His resurrection was to grant "access" to sinners to heaven. Previously, we couldn't get in. Now, we can.

Now I like the preacher guy -- he's actually a friend, and my family and I went to his house for Easter dinner after church. But I do have a small problem with this notion of "access." Did Jesus give us a cosmological "keycard" that when you swipe it in the pearly gates, they open? What happens if you swipe it and you get a red light and a buzzer? (Sorry for the sarcasm.) I am concerned about the concept of in versus out, of "access" versus "access-denied."

It seems to me that Jesus was far less concerned about "entry" into the Kingdom of God, and much more concerned with our enjoyment and awareness of its imminence and presence. I cannot help but read the gospel accounts of Jesus and just imagine Him with a constant smirk on His face. Not a mischievous smirk, but a knowing smirk. "Friends, it surrounds you. It is in you. It is here and now. I came that you might have life, and live it to the full." It's an "oh, if you only KNEW!" kind of smirk.

How would our lives change if we believed in the imminent reality of God's Kingdom versus our future "access" to it? What if, as you read these words, you suddenly became aware...of what I cannot say, but just that you became AWARE. And what if the powerful reality of that kingdom was so overwhelmingly important that THAT is what Jesus died for?

Please don't get me wrong. I fully uphold the doctrines of atonement, propitiation, redemption, etc. My concern here is not the extent of the effect of Jesus' death and resurrection. That would be far too much to even comprehend. Rather my concern is its daily-ness. I am not content with "access" -- not because I think I deserve more. It just seems that Jesus Himself wants us to know more about how His sacrificial act could change your life...today, in a way that could bring you a smile, a laugh, and a good hearty breakfast with an old friend.

It's a Horrible Thing

2007-04-24T10:55:00.000-07:00

I cannot begin to describe the pain.

In the middle of a meeting between Turkish church leaders and church representatives from the States, Mike interrupted us. With a solemn and urgent tone, his cell phone still connected to someone on the other end in hand, he gestured at me and stated, "There's been an incident in Malatya. I need you NOW." The air in the room suddenly went stale as I felt the rise of adrenaline flush my cheeks. Then, as if on cue, cell phones throughout the room began chiming, one after the other in an ominous domino effect. Something was horribly wrong.

In my years of ministry leadership, I have faced many crises. Conflict on the team, clinical depression amongst staff, provocation by communist or nationalist student groups, staff members being arrested, stolen computers with "hot" information. I myself have been stabbed. But nothing compares to this. What ensued over the next 48 hours can only be described as a nightmare.

Three of our brothers, Necati Aydin, Ugur Yuksel and Tilmann Geske, had been brutally murdered. Five young men bound their hands and feet, tortured them repeatedly with butcher knives, and slit their throats as if making a sacrifice. Police arrived in time to apprehend the perpetrators, but not in time to save anyone's life. In each of the murderers’ pockets investigators found an identical note, proclaiming the reason for the assault as being to protect the nation from traitors and Christians.

Necati and I served on the same leadership team. Over the years we had grown close, and looked forward to the "in between meetings" times to catch up, hang out, talk about God and life and marriage and hope. Even just this January, we shared a room together at a 10 day leadership conference. He is survived by his wife Semsa, and their two children. Writing that even now brings tears to my already weary eyes. This is wrong. This is all wrong.

But the crisis merely began with the murders. We immediately formed a Crisis Management Team and, pushing our sharp pain and disbelief aside, began to lead forward into the murky waters of the tragedy's aftershocks. Conflicting reports fed by poor media confused the issue, as we tried to gather accurate information. Was it Necati, Ugur and Tilmann, or not? Were they dead, or still alive in the hospital? Was this an isolated incident, or were others of our friends also in danger? Was anyone else involved? Other locations were now potentially exposed to other security risks, and we had to quickly clean up our computers, documents and materials. Information spread like wildfire. Within hours Germany, Spain, Oregon were calling. How do we contain this? Who should speak to the media? Who will care for the widows?

Every couple of minutes, for one piercing moment, like a splinter in the frenzy, the sharp pain of knowing what happened would rush in and overwhelm me to tears. But only for a moment. I had to hold it together to lead on.

Now, two days after the funeral, the tidal wave of emotion is catching up to us. That would be exhausting enough. But the range of emotions, the vast dichotomy between the injustice and the celebration of martyrdom, between the intense loss of a friend to the joy felt at the shock that has awakened the nation to the persecution of the church...

Friends, I have so much more to say, but to be honest, I have no more in me. I am exhausted, emotionally depleted, and raw. I never thought that God would ask me to lead our team through martyrdom. I count it a privilege. And a curse.

“I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” John 12:24

Spiritual Elasticity

2007-08-26T06:03:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged for a long long time. I had wished to chronical my thoughts and experiences during our transition from Turkey back to the United States, but I found that I had not the capacity to process my thoughts and emotions sufficiently enough to post them to the public. However, after several months, I sense a need deep within to begin to bring out to the light some of my inner life...I think it will somehow be cathartic...

Rebounding. I feel like that is what I am constantly doing. Lately I have been incredibly dismayed at the difficulty with which we must live life. It is just so hard. I suppose that is all part of the curse, that life would not be easy, and that it "the garden" each of us tends would constantly need weeding. But I am tired. I am weary. All I want to do is good...the right things in life, like provide for my family, follow hard after God, become part of a good church and give of myself there. But I am finding that even those things are wrought with difficulty and frustration.

Several years back, I used a phrase -- now I don't know if I coined this phrase or stole it from somewhere, but it's a good phrase. It is "spiritual elasticity." Basically, it means having the spiritual depth and maturity to be able to absorb whatever difficulty we face, shift that on to God, and then re-shape back to a healthy normal person. In essence, our lives and hearts like a spiritual rubber band, stretched and pulled in many directions, but always returning to its original shape. Elasticity.

As I make this transition (or rather these transitions), I am finding that I desperately need a high capacity of elasticity. But the challenge that I am facing these days as I rebound from different issues, frustration and difficulties, is the searing question, "What IS my original shape?" Who am I these days? What defines me? Couple that with the oft feeling that the rubber band is about to snap, and it makes for quite a disconcerting experience.

I have one week left before I start graduate school. From all that I hear, it's going to be a challenging experience...not just the assignments and reading, but a huge challenge to my soul. I also begin more earnest work on the Turkey CD Project. On top of all of that, I need to find some additional income for my family. Needless to say, the time for elasticity is now...just a matter of knowing if I can rebound.

The Psychology of Paintball

2007-09-30T19:38:00.000-07:00

The pungent smell of peat races through your nostrils as you take a quick breath before dashing once again towards the shelter. Knees muddied, armpits wet with perspiration and eyes in constant motion, you watch helplessly as comrade after comrade is taken out. Suddenly, the zing races dangerously close, brushing your left shoulder as if to warn you of imminent death. The sniper has you in his sights. It's only a matter of time.

But you are saved when the ref calls, "Game over!"

I played paintball for the first time this weekend. Our church here in Seattle challenged another church plant to our north -- a friendly game of aggression. I would have been happy with bowling or a safe evening at happy hour somewhere. But with the desire to get to know other men in our newly-decided-upon congregation at Seed Church, I joined in on the mayhem. All in all, it was a good time, and indeed, I now have "war stories" in common with all of them. ("Remember the time that you got nailed right in the face? That was an awesome shot!" or "My gun got jammed, and I couldn't do anything. I was just about to head out to get it changed with I got nailed by 20 incoming shots!").

I sat out for one game and just watched, marveling at the psychology of the thing. What motivates men (and some women!) to load up their guns, don the camo and head to the field? I feel that there are 3 different types of paintballers...each with a different psychology.

The first kind are like me: guys who get caught up in the activity for the sake of activity. We're the kind of guys who just like to do things together. It could be fishing. It could be bowling. It could be a BBQ, a camping trip or just having a beer. The point is the togetherness with other men. And since men can't just be together, we must find something to do. So, a new breed of paintballer is born. I'll call it the "casual paintballer."

The second kind is just one notch up on the richter scale: guys who love the game, really get into it when they play it, consider themselves good at it, but really only do it once or twice a year. I'd call this the "reserves." These are the guys who actually OWN camo. They have a sense of strategy and plan on the field. They are the ones who generally instigate the paintballing excursions, excited just to have the chance to play, and willing to take anyone and everyone...just to get you excited too. Here, it seems the history together is important, and there is a recognition that paintball is just somehow different than bowling. There is a weightiness to pretend warfare that they enjoy.

The third kind of paintballer is just plain scary. Check out this picture. This is real.Honestly. These are the guys who have spent thousands of dollars on equipment, and show up to the field ready for hand-to-hand combat. They not only have camo, they have utility belts, built-in radios in their helmets, and guns that require a second look due to the fact that they look so like real AK-47s. They have their own color ammunition (better for tracking their actual "kills"). I even think I heard one of them refer to another as "Sergeant." These guys are serious. There is a killer gleam in their eyes, and they mean to annihilate. It just makes you wonder a bit about their need to play soldier.

As I said, all in all it was a fine time. I enjoyed building history with some of the men from my new-found church. Having a common language made conversation easy today in the foyer of church. "How'd you do yesterday?" or "Did you get hit? Really, where?" But, I also came away from it with a definite sense of wonder at the psychology of it all.

I don't have the need to do it again. I'm not a combat kinda guy. But I'd certainly watch.

Patrick: Son of Ireland

2007-12-24T15:30:00.000-08:00

I have a deep fascination with the Celts. I don't know where it came from. Recently, I have been reading a lot about Celtic Christianity, and find it amazingly applicable and compelling for the missional context of our world today. I think we could learn a lot from the ancients.

I just finished reading Patrick: Son of Ireland, by Stephen Lawhead. First of all, I'd recommend anything by Stephen Lawhead. He writes fantastic historical fiction, and I feel gives the reader new insights into the lives of the characters and their times. I first started reading him as a teenager, and still love his work to this day. He's currently working on Robin Hood! Anyway, he wrote a book called Byzantium, from whence we got Aidan's name (the book is about St. Aidan).

So I finished reading Patrick last night. Of course, I absolutely loved it. Succat, Patrick's real name, endured such agony throughout his life. With each page, I thought, "Surely it can't get any worse." But then it did. One of the overarching themes of the book is the concept of "home." He was abducted from his home in Britain and taken as a slave to Ireland. He spent 7 years serving there, becoming entrenched in the land, people and culture. He finally escaped to return to Britain, only to find it completely different from the land he had left. He then went to Gaul and finally to Rome. In the end, he returns to Ireland, for that is where he most deeply encountered God. Throughout his journeys, I identified with him in his loss of a true homeland -- not because of our travels around the world, but more because of our spiritual sojourn on earth. I believe one of the deepest desires of the human heart is to return "home," and that home is only to be found squarely in the fully-redeemed kingdom of God.

If you are looking for a good read, I'd recommend it. It isn't for the faint of heart, nor is it rated PG.

Take heart. Home is not where the heart is...it is where the heart relates most deeply with God.

God Most Close

2007-12-25T15:33:00.000-08:00

Every human heart longs deeply for a genuine return to the lap of God, to be embraced by Him, to know Him and be known by Him, to find once again a true place of belonging. Every human soul finds its ultimate fulfillment when worshipping the Creator in surrendered awe, acknowledging His abundant greatness and transcendent Otherness, while at the same time celebrating His immanence and intimate closeness. Only at the intersection of His divinity and His humanity are men and women free to live abundantly.

These desires to find God drive every action, every intention, and every motion, and yet as we seek Him in the world around us, we are met with constant disappointment and frustration. Brokenness, darkness and human frailty shroud our lives and relationships, drawing the curtain on His splendor, replacing it with empty promises, prostituted pleasures and hollow meaning. God seems so allusive, so absent from our every day existence, that to find Him at times proves infinitely difficult. We often yield in resignation to an ache that has no remedy. Our realities repeatedly deny us the precious relational satiation we so desire, and repetition proves to be an effective teacher: God is distant and not to be found or disturbed.

Click here to go to my extended blog for the full text...

The Innocent Man

2007-12-30T17:15:00.000-08:00

I'm taking full advantage of the Christmas holidays and the break from studies to read, read, read. Although I haven't made it through as many books as I'd like, one caught me off guard. As part of our family's Secret Santa this year, Aidan gave me John Grisham's book titled The Innocent Man. This is Grisham's first non-fiction work, and a striking one at that!

In a small town in Oklahoma, an innocent man is convicted of murder. This in itself is an absolute atrocity, and yet the story that unravels was beyond appalling. The entire judicial system worked against this poor man. The prosecution denied him rights, framed him and trumped up charges and false witnesses. The judges involved overlooked these violations, assuming that he was guilty, and denied him even the right to an appeal. It wasn't until outside human rights organizations got involved that his innocence was first considered. As a result, he spent 12 years in prison, and at one time came within 5 days of his execution.

My father is an attorney, and I have grown up believing in "the system." Innocent men do not get convicted, let alone executed. However, through Grisham's expose of this case, I have begun to wonder just how many others there might be -- both convicted of a crime they did not commit, and even more so, executed for it. For more information about the exoneration of innocent men and women (usually based on DNA testing), go to The Innocence Project. I have not fully researched the credibility of this organization, nor of its practices, but I am fascinated by their work and the way our "system" that is designed to protect the innocent can be used to convict them of crimes they didn't commit.

I have also begun to consider capital punishment...thoughts that I have yet to formulate, but want to evaluate in light of both my theological convictions as well as the potential ramifications of a non-perfect judicial system.

Just makes me not want to be in the wrong place at the wrong time!

Post-Evangelical

2007-12-30T19:19:00.000-08:00

So you've probably heard the term "post-modernism." And if you have, I'm sure readers of this blog have had a variety of reactions to it, ranging from identifying with it saying 'that's me!' to distrusting and doubting it saying 'those heretics!' Whatever your personal reactions to it are, there is another not-so-known term that I'd like to throw out there -- POST-EVANGELICALISM. Now, before you pre-judge what that may be, let me explain a couple of things.

First of all, one of the many reasons I'm attending Mars Hill Graduate School is to pursue the current and future generations for Christ. In our desire to see people know and love Him, we believe we need to be smart, prepared, and exposed to the current thought patterns of the world. We also need to understand where WE fit into those patterns. Jesus never changes. What changes is how the world and the people in it come to know and love Him. This includes understanding modernism and post-modernism, as well as how the church interacts with the culture in each paradigm. If we are not willing to sit with the hard questions, then the world will move on, and we'll be left in the dust.

I've mentioned before that I'm currently reading a book entitled "The Post Evangelical" by Dave Tomlinson. I'm not nearly finished with it, but I have thoroughly enjoyed what I have read so far. I want to quote a couple of things from it, just to give you a taste. I'd love to hear back from you about any thoughts, concerns, agreements, whatever you may have on this!!!

First, what is "post-evangelical." Tomlinson states that this is in no way a "movement." Most people have never heard of this term, and if they have, there is a great possibility that they don't know what it means. However, once described, many people today say, 'well, yeah, that describes me!'

At the start, it does NOT mean ex-evangelical. The following is a quotation from the book, page 28:

"Several people have suggested to me that the term post-evangelical is really just a fashionable way of saying ex-evangelical. However, properly used, post means something quite different from ex. Post, which means after, has connotations of following from, whereas ex implies ceasing to be. Taking this intro into account, to be post-evangelical is to take as given many of the assumptions of evangelical faith, while at the same time moving beyond its perceived limitations." [italics original]

As Tomlinson goes on to describe some of what post-evangelicals may think, he provides this list of bullet points, obviously not meant to be exhaustive (p. 42-43):

"As a result, as evangelicals adapt to the new postmodern culture they find themselves in, they are beginning to shift on some of their traditional stances....At this point, however, it would be helpful to highlight some of the shifts;

from propositional expressions of faith to relational stories about faith journeys.
from the authority of Scripture alone to a harmony between the authority of Scripture and other personal ways God mysteriously and graciously speaks to Christians.
from a theology that prepares people for death and the afterlife to a theology for life.
from a personal, individualistic, private faith to harmony between personal and community faith.
from anti-Catholic and anti-nonprotestant perspectives to greater acceptance and curiosity about other approaches to knowing God.
from the church being a place where people take up space to the church as a mission outpost that sends people out.
from an approach to missions that emphasizes mass conversions by individuals to "share the good news with the whole world" approach.
from arguing faith to the "dance of faith."
from salvation by event to a journey of salvation.
from a salvation of humanity to a salvation of all creation.
from a Western, American understanding of the gospel to a worldwide view.
from motivating through fear to motivating through compassion, community and hope
from a search for dogmatic truth to a search for spiritual experience."

So, as I'm reading through this book, and I read lists like the one I've quoted above, I am shocked and amazed to read words that I myself have spoken, and directions I myself have lead our team. So much of what has filled my heart and mind these past few years, as I have interacted with young people from around the world in my role as National Campus Director in the Near East, and even now as I re-engage the church in America here in Seattle, I am honestly befuddled to find a book IN PRINT that summarizes much of our own journey of faith and perspective. I would say that I am post-evangelical.

What do you say?

The Danger of Christian Drivenness

2008-01-07T11:37:00.000-08:00

As I talk with more and more Christians, I am struck with how busy we are. We have our normal daily lives with work, family, home and friends. But then we add to that worship services, time with the Lord, prayer, Bible studies, kid's activities at church, hospitality, committees, music practice, etc...our calendar is quickly filled with "good" things to do.

If you know me at all, you know that I am an incredibly driven individual. I have a hard time sitting still, so much so that when a commercial comes during a TV show, I get antsy! But recently, I've been pondering drivenness, especially as I talk with other ministers and missionaries. What drives us to do so much? Does more=better in the eyes of God?

I have come to the conclusion that DRIVENNESS is wrong. Let me explain. I have come to understand a stark difference between DRIVENNESS and INTENSITY.

Click HERE to see keep reading!

I'm Gonna Check it out...anybody else wanna come?

2008-01-14T06:30:00.000-08:00

I have been interested in attending one of these kinds of conference for quite some time. I oogle over the websites and topics, but have never had the opportunity to go. Well, this one is in Seattle. AND one of the presenters, Dwight Friesen, is one of my professors from Mars Hill -- a great guy with a passionate heart for Christ and the Scriptures. I could only gain from hearing from the likes of him. So I signed up and am going!

Anyone want to come too? There is a special discounted rate through today. Sorry for the late notice.

Now, I can't guarantee what it's going to be like. But it's worth checking out...

A Man's Prayer

2008-11-16T20:59:00.001-08:00

O LORD,
I praise you that the issue of the battle between you and Satan has never been uncertain,
and will end in victory.
Calvary broke the dragon's head, and I contend with a vanquished foe,
who with all his subtlety and strength has already been overcome.
When I feel the serpent at my heel may I remember him whose heel was bruised,
but who, when bruised, broke the devil's head.
My soul with inward joy extols the mighty conqueror.

Heal me of any wounds received in the great conflict;
if I have gathered defilement,
if my faith has suffered damage,
if my hope is less than bright,
if my love is not fervent,
if some creature-comfort occupies my heart,
if my soul sinks under pressure of the fight.

O GOD,
whose every promise is healing,
every touch life,
draw near to thy weary warrior,
refresh me, that I may rise again to wage the strife,
and never tire until my enemy is trodden down.

Give me such fellowship with thee that I may defy Satan,
unbelief,
the flesh,
the world,
with delight that comes not from a creature,
and which a creature cannot mar.

Give me a draught of the eternal fountain
that lieth in your immutable, everlasting love and decree.

Then shall my hand never weaken,
my feel never stumble,
my sword never rest,
my shield never rust,
my helmet never shatter,
my breastplate never fall,
as my strength rests in the power of your might.

Slavery Around the Corner

2008-01-20T20:12:00.000-08:00

Over the past several weeks, a common theme has continued to surface in our thoughts and reading. It is something that has floored us, broken us, and made us weep -- honestly. The topic is slavery -- today, in the world NOW. Beth has done a tremendous job of writing up some of our initial thoughts on her blog, so I won't rewrite it all. Just click here to go there!

There is so much more to say, but we are still in process. I'm sure this will be a part of the world's darkness that we will be moving towards bringing Light. Pray with us.

I Will Not Fight, I Will Not Run

2008-01-13T14:41:00.001-08:00

This past week I came across this passage once again about Jesus that, to be honest, totally astounds me:

John 18...
²Now Judas, who betrayed him, knew the place, because Jesus had often met there with his disciples. ³So Judas came to the grove, guiding a detachment of soldiers and some officials from the chief priests and Pharisees. They were carrying torches, lanterns and weapons. ⁴Jesus, knowing all that was going to happen to him, went out and asked them, "Who is it you want?" ⁵"Jesus of Nazareth," they replied. "I am he," Jesus said. (And Judas the traitor was standing there with them.) ⁶When Jesus said, "I am he," they drew back and fell to the ground. ⁷Again he asked them, "Who is it you want?" And they said, "Jesus of Nazareth." ⁸"I told you that I am he," Jesus answered. "If you are looking for me, then let these men go."

This morning at church, Brent was speaking about the fierceness of Jesus and the apostles. There is no "Mr. Nice Guy" in Jesus. He is powerful, passionate and yet at the same time gentle. But He is not "nice." Often we assume that He is this meek and mild kinda guy, who just loves to cuddle and give butterfly kisses. Indeed, there is a tenderness in Jesus, but make no mistake, it is not weakness.

Click HERE for more on my Extended Blog

“Envy those who rejoice, correct those who mourn.”

2007-12-20T11:29:00.000-08:00

One day a friend comes to church glowing, a smile stretched from ear to ear. Without even being asked, he launches into an in-depth story of how he landed the best job of his life, one that would provide his family with more financial resources than he’s ever had. Through his elation, he begins to tell you of the well-deserved trips he plans to take, the debts he plans to pay, and the charities he has already chosen to support. “I can’t believe that God has done this for me! Can you?”

What is YOUR response?

The next day, another friend calls you. Tragedy has hit his home, and he is beside himself with grief and agony, completely unsure of what lies ahead. Tremors of panic rack his words, and brief cracks of doubt are evident in his shaken faith. The fear and anxiety he feels about the future seem to overwhelm him. He asks such questions as: “How could God allow this?” and “Where is God in the midst of this terror?” or “What am I to do?”

What is YOUR response?

No really, what happens, more often than not, in our hearts, as we face these two friends, one in deep agony, the other in extreme elation?

Click here for the full text on my extended blog

A Lens of Mysterious Freedom -- What Would It Be Like?

2007-12-19T12:02:00.000-08:00

So, here is my first installment of the things that have been rattling around in my brain. I've put a snippet of it here, with the remainder of the text on the "extended" blog. Enjoy, and please let me know your thoughts!

__________________________________

"A Lens of Mysterious Freedom"

There must be more to God than can be contained in our knowledge of Him. There must be unsearchable ways that will forever confound us. He must truly be “able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think.” Why, then, have we tried so hard to reduce the all Consuming God to a non-mysterious god? Christianity has in many ways become the “science of faith” rather than the Knowledge of the Divine.

It seems that by our insatiable appetite to know God, we have lost something of extreme value…something that burns within our hearts but has been denied by our heads. And yet, because desire’s compass consistently points the human heart toward true life and true freedom, there must be the possibility of deep intimacy with Him, a mysterious intimacy that woos, heals and frees. As a result, I have begun to interpret life and the biblical text through a lens of “mysterious freedom.” Click Here to read more of this article on my EXTENDED BLOG.

My Blog's EXTENDED Version

2007-12-16T20:52:00.000-08:00

In the upcoming months, I will be posting some things to my blog for you to check out and read. One of the things that drives me crazy, though, is having a LOAD of text fly at you when you least expect it. Wading through that can be tedious. SO, per my wife's wonderfully brilliant suggestion, I'm going to post some summaries here on my main blog, and then put the full text on another blog where you can go, if you choose, to get the whole text. Make sense? I think it's stellar.

Each time there is something there on the extended blog, I'll put a link.

So to start off, here are several things I've put on the EXTENDED BLOG from our Christmas letter.

CHRISTMAS LETTER 2007

ON THE RESTORATION OF SOULS

TURKEY CD PROJECT UPDATE

UPCOMING TOPICS ON CHRIS' BLOG

THE TRIAL

And if you just want to see the Extended Blog, here's the address:
www.somewherebetweennowandthenextended.blogspot.com

Now and the Not Yet

2007-11-19T17:25:00.000-08:00

I gave my blog the name "Somewhere Between Now and Then" for a reason. We are all caught in the in-between. In the time between our creation and our redemption, our renewal. There is a tragic hope that pulls us forward -- well, most of the time. I am somewhere between that tragic now, and the "then" that fills my dreams causes me to ache.

So, to age myself quite a bit, I risk putting the lyrics of a song that has been echoing in my mind for the last several days. I haven't heard this song in YEARS, but for some reason, the ache for tomorrow has resurrected it in my psyche. It's Amy Grant's (uh-oh you say):

The Now and the Not Yet

No longer what we were before,
But not all that we will be.
Tomorrow, when we lock the door,
On all our compromising,
When He appears,
He'll draw us near,
And we'll be changed by His glory,
Wrapped up in His glory....

We will be like Him,
For we shall see Him,
As He is.

No longer what we saw before,
But not all that we will see.
Tomorrow, when we lock the door,
On all our disbelieving,

When He appears (holy, holy),
Our view will clear,
And we'll be changed by His glory,
Wrapped up in His glory....

But I'm caught in between
The now and the not yet;
Sometimes it seems like
Forever and ever,
That I've been reaching to be
All that I am,
But I'm only a few steps nearer,
Yet I'm nearer....

No longer what we were before,
But not all that we will be.
Tomorrow, when we lock the door,
On all our disbelieving,
And He appears (holy, holy),
He'll draw us near,
And we'll be changed by His glory,
Wrapped up in His glory....

When He appears (holy, holy),
He'll draw us near,
And we'll be changed by His glory,
Wrapped up in His glory....

I love the holy longing here in this poetry. It aches for Him and for the Kingdom to come. So forgive me the flashback to the '80s, but I long for a flash-forward to the End.

Blogging

2007-12-16T14:04:00.000-08:00

Over the past several months, there have been SO many things...thoughts, impressions, passions, desires, fears, etc. that have come to mind. But I have had so little time to process through everything, let alone communicate some of my thoughts to others. Now, however, I'm gonna just make myself sit with the computer on a regular basis to at least get some first thoughts out there -- potentially to process more later, but just to get them out there. I'd love to have the input from others too, as I am envisioning working some of these things into publishable articles.

Anyway, in our Christmas Letter, I mentioned the following titles/topics on which I'm going to write. Don't hold me to this list...as it may grow, shrink or change. But at least it's a diving board off into the world of writing. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy. Feel free to leave me a comment or two -- what hit you? What did you love/hate? What do these thoughts provoke in you? What does God get stirring in you? Where do you disagree? Or where do these things set you free?

So here is my original list:

1. Interpreting the Bible through a lens of “Mysterious Freedom”
2. Giving Tears Away
3. Freeing Jesus
4. Via Negativa — God in the Absence
5. Laughing at the Days to Come
6. Living in Our Createdness
7. Envisioning Hope for Others—What Could Be?
8. The Danger of Christian Drivenness
9. Playful Theology—Finding Shiny Pennies
10. I Will Not Fight, I Will Not Run
11. Un-becoming: What Do We Need to Undo?
12. Incarnated Living
...and who knows what else may come!

I am a sick person

2007-11-11T17:46:00.000-08:00

I know. I am truly a sick person. But I love practical jokes so much. I was on YouTube doing some research for the TurkeyCDProject that I'm working on (no, really, I was doing research!), and I came upon this practical joke. The language is in German, but it's inconsequential to the joke. Take a look. I died laughing, and it made my night.

Hope you enjoy it too!

The Pounding of My Heart

2007-09-02T15:36:00.000-07:00

My heart is pounding. And I have a pit in my stomach.

There are so many things going through my head, so many random thoughts that are somehow all related to the web of life and living. But all of them at once are like a torrent that nearly blows me away.

Classes at Mars Hill start on Tuesday. What is it going to be like? Am I going to like it? Is it going to be worth the amazing sacrifice I have asked my family to make in order for me to get into that classroom? Are the people going to be nice, or are they going to be church-haters (seems to be a common experience of many Mars Hill-ites)? Am I going to understand anything the professor says? And will I be able to manage life, work, family and somewhere in the midst of it all, get a few hours of sleep?

Our shipment comes on Tuesday. Finally, after 8 weeks of waiting, I actually get a couch to sit on, sheets to sleep on, and a long sleeve shirt to stay warm in. It so happens that it coincides with the starting of classes at Mars Hill -- which just gets me thinking again about whether I'm going to like it or not, the people and the sacrifice everyone has made for me to be in that classroom.

We picked a church. At least we're going to try one out long-term. It's Seed Church in Bothell.
It's really challenging content, good people, kids like the kids stuff, and it's doctrinally on target. So we'll give it a try. Giving it a try means going every Sunday, trying to meet people, getting "involved" in some way. I'm excited to have a place to start setting down relational roots -- but it just means a lot of initiative on our part, a lot of getting my hand out there for someone else to shake. I really hope we end up belonging there. Will we belong there more than Mars Hill? This just gets me thinking about the sacrifice we've all made to come here, and the cycle starts all over.

My heart is pounding, and my brain is full.

Para-church

2007-04-16T12:35:00.000-07:00

As we prepare to move back to the States, we also prepare for a new kind of life. For the last decade we have served with a parachurch organization. Although we will continue to serve with a similar organization, we will no longer be living abroad in an overseas team environment. We will have the opportunity to discover community in the context of church...something we have not been able to do for many many years. Considering this, I have recently been ruminating about the benefits and drawbacks of the "para" part of "parachurch."

Although I believe the parachurch has stepped into some significant gaps left by the 20th century church, especially in the area of missions, community, humanitarian aid, etc. (basically kingdom living!), I feel that through the process, I have missed something significant. That is "church" in its purest form. You see, parachurch works well in the context of accomplishing a mission. And, as I have given the last 10 years of my life to this, I find that I really don't know the meaning or significance of a church. Don't get me wrong...I feel that our time has been well spent. However, I don't feel a part of a grounded community.

Our team is indeed a community, one that we are desperately sad about leaving. We love the people dearly, and have built friendships that are deep on many levels. However, church (at least my assumption) provides something that is quite different -- diversity. I don't mean cultural or ethnic diversity so much, for we have that here in the international context. I mean rather diversity in personality, lifestyle, income levels, life stage, etc. Diversity in life. One person works here, another there, another out of work for the moment, etc. One is an empty nester, the other just had a baby. I feel that in building community with a parachurch organization, while extremely deep because of the closeness of affinity interests, has been "too close" in some senses.

I was reminded of this the other day when considering widows and orphans. The Scriptures commend us as believers to care for them -- that this is true religion. In order to HAVE widows and orphans in the community for which to care, means having a diversified group of people in the church community. A widow is old, alone, facing the hereafter. An orphan is young, scared, and needing parents. What a grand spectrum of people the church is called to care for.

"Para" has accomplished a lot on the way to mission. But I feel that I have missed a lot as well. Thank you Lord for the opportunity to seek the kingdom once again in a new place.

Resurrection Happens

2007-04-10T10:59:00.000-07:00

That crazy driver cuts you off. You go to pull your wallet out to pay for your groceries, and you realize it was lifted by the prissy high school girl standing by the door on the bus. Your wife is exasperated with you, and you think to yourself "FINE!" and stomp off. Your feel a lump in your breast. Several of the guys at the office got together to watch the game last night, and you weren't invited. Then the phone rings at 3 a.m. and you know it's not good news.

As long as I can remember, celebrating the death of someone always seemed odd to me. Yes, I know, Easter is more about the coming back to life part. But you can't come back to life unless you've died, right?

This Easter, as the calendar indicated it was once again time to commemorate a historical event that took place nearly 2000 years ago, I found myself wondering something. Indeed, this time-splitting event has significant ontological, spiritual and personal ramifications. I am in awe of God over and over again at the radical love it must have taken for Jesus to have endured so much for wayward souls. I am so grateful the resurrection happened.

But that's just it. It happened. We celebrate a date, an event, a moment in time when something supernatural happened. But I'm not satisfied with that. Mostly because death surrounds me. In disappointments, in pain, in theft, rape, anger, fear, disease. Jesus conquered death. But I still encounter death regularly.

Then it occurred to me. As a believer, as one who has this "power" within me, I have the freedom to not live in the past. The resurrection didn't just happen. It happens. Is it possible, in that moment we encounter death in whatever shape or form it may take, to choose to live "resurrected-ly"? Can we not, as partakers in the kingdom, co-heirs with Christ, join Him in His resurrection by BEING resurrected in moments of death.

What do I mean? Well, for starters, the next time I am wronged, what would it be like to simply call that "death", and then CHOOSE to live/respond/breathe resurrection into that moment. How would that change the course of our days?

I know it sounds simple. But it certainly makes Easter more....NOW. Not stuck as a 2000 year old holiday commemoration. Right?